Ode to my boy

The rain thrashes the earth with a vengence
A distant sound of thunder augments its fury
The fury of the rain, an echo of my passion
I lie on the bed, my mind and soul tilled,
By a myriad of stinging, sharp memories
Memories of times so sweet often visit, flooding
My eyes with tears, and a bitter rage throng at the temple
A fury never abated, never relenting in its torment of the heart


I know I must face tomorrow, all alone and without support
A void exists where a passion ruled, that was you
You woke up everyday with a sweet smile,
A smile that lit the lamp of my life, every day
I couldn't wait too long if you came home late
Bizarre thoughts start to haunt my mind
I couldn't bear it if you wanted to be away
And yet you are gone..I wouldn't see you in a long time
Unless you so wished, a faint hope still exists


You turned back to look many a times
Your eyes said it all, you wished me to be with you
You couldn't know, my boy, you are only a child
That we couldn't ever be together, your mother and I
But my heart would always be, where you are
And my soul would know if you cried
Sometimes on a drunken stupor, I see you
I wrestle with you, you chase me with a pillow
I fall down and we laugh together
And those times when you wouldn't eat
I had to beg and plead and promise a gift
Yes, you were a pain, my son, that was you
A sweet, sweet pain, so overwhelming


I cannot fathom another day, without you
How I pulled on all these days, I couldn't tell
Now and then, I wake up in the night
I would turn around to look for you
The emptiness that envelops the room
Laugh at my misery and my aching mind
How I miss you, my boy, if only you knew
You would forget, you are only a child
Wounds heal faster and memories fade into oblivion
You would start anew, every day would be new and fresh
To an old man, everyday is just one more bundle of dreams
Dreams shattered and of hopes renewed


If I would live another day ; if I could, in my power
I would win you back and we would fight,
We would wrestle and chase each other
We would play with the dogs and cats
We would climb up the trees and jump down
And cycle down the mud path road to the river
Swim and frolick, like two good friends
If only tomorrow would make a miracle happen
Until then, incarcerated I will be, in my cage of memories
Of you, my boy and of our times together